I know this feeling – the sadness, anger, and fear. The fog and numbness that takes over my being. Grief is never a friend that stops over, it’s an unwanted guest that shows up uninvited.

You can’t prepare for the visit, even if you think it’s near. There isn’t the right thing to wear. The right thing to say or do.

I have often said that grief is the private club that no one chooses to join. Grasping the depths of emotions that are felt emotionally, physically and mentally can’t be imagined until you have a personal experience.

I have tried to hide from it, pretend it wasn’t affecting me, however, I realized it’s something I need to learn to be with.

I decided to take the step and to sit with the grief – the overwhelming feeling of despair that I wanted to run from. To be with the feelings that are coming up.

By sitting with each emotion I am able to process what the loss means to me. I have accepted that it’s a part of life and will happen time and time again. Each time surprising me with it’s intensity.

Grief is not a social club, it’s a truly a private club to journey in our own individual way.